Offer your hand or not?

[RCP]

When meeting someone in a professional setting, sometimes men seem a little taken aback when I offer my hand to shake. A lot take it in stride, (or seem to).
I would like to hear from guys and gals about this.

I know sometimes it is hard for men who want to treat us as ladies when we wanted to be treated equal.

[Eieio]

At first it was difficult for me because I always hugged or grabbed a womans hand in a delicate manner.

But the ladies in DC are as fierce as the men so they shake hands and get down to business.

I comply because that is just the environment I am in but it still is a bit strange for me, I was raised a gentleman so I always have to catch myself from wanting to hug and kiss on the cheek stuff

[loneframer]

When meeting someone in a professional setting, sometimes men seem a little taken aback when I offer my hand to shake. A lot take it in stride, (or seem to).
I would like to hear from guys and gals about this.

I know sometimes it is hard for men who want to treat us as ladies when we wanted to be treated equal.

I always offer my hand when introducing myself or being introduced, whether it be man, woman or child. I also make it a point to hold the door for the same. My mother taught me manners, what can I say?:cool:

[sparkydave]

Hand shaking is good.
If the lady is especially fetching (now i'm being serious) I sometimes revert to gr.10 high school, stutter, clammy hands, shake with two hands, two tight a grasp, everything except the acne has pretty much improved.

I think handling introductions in a formal manner is good until both parties get to know where they stand and can sense what is appropriate. I have a seen many women who can kid around, but it takes a few meetings to get a sense of how formal/informal to be.

Women can be very interesting to deal with, add a great deal to otherwise dull business. And well prepared and on top of things, too.

[Blue]

I live in Kansas. Lots of hand shakin goin on round here.

[ModernStyle]

I dont like to touch people ......... well not on the hands atleast.

[Dusty]

I always offer my hand when meeting new customers.
As for that hug thing Service mentioned. I dont' like it. I cringe everytime someone tries to hug me that has not developed a relationship with me.

[Eieio]

I always offer my hand when meeting new customers.
As for that hug thing Service mentioned. I dont' like it. I cringe everytime someone tries to hug me that has not developed a relationship with me.


I picked up on it really quick that it was not PC.

[Dusty]

I picked up on it really quick that it was not PC.

What do you mean by PC ?

[Eieio]

What do you mean by PC ?


Politcally Correct.

I give great hugs though :D

[Silvertree]

I went to a barbeque today and hugged a good friend and shook hands with the other woman.
I think its pretty well accepted in the Twin Cities you do this. Shake hands.

A few weeks ago I was in a wedding in a small farm community and shook hands, hugged my inlaws and their friends.

I always offer my hand, but last week I had a woman stand behind the kitchen island the whole time, I was let in before she got home from work. As I'm pretty good at reading people I did not offer her my hand, didn't get the job either.
My price $13,600, other guy $10,100, maybe I should have hugged her?:p

[ModernStyle]

I take the hug to the next level and kinda grind up against potential customers. For the men I usually teach them a gangster type handshake and tell them that is how real men do it.

[Len]

When meeting someone in a professional setting, sometimes men seem a little taken aback when I offer my hand to shake. A lot take it in stride, (or seem to).
I would like to hear from guys and gals about this.

I know sometimes it is hard for men who want to treat us as ladies when we wanted to be treated equal.


I have no problem shaking your hand and having respect for your professional opinions, but know that I will still open the door for you.

[Silvertree]

RCP, do you think its where you live that makes some men uncomfortable. I lived in cowboy country Florida and the White Mountains of New Hampshire, people were very different.

The cowboys acted like woman were made of crystal, lots of yesm's and maam's. I stood out like a cat at a dog show. Those guys were afraid to touch a woman in public.

At the wedding I went to recently one of the men in the wedding party was kissing woman's hands. Very uptight stick up the butt kind of guy, he was well oiled during the event though.

[RCP]

I am sure the area has something to do with it. I am in a "cowboy town" with a strong religious culture that believes all the wives should be home raising babies.
I worked in a corporate position 20 years ago managing men that were often older than I!
A lot of times I find it is just uncertainty and I am able to win them over with my charm!:rolleyes:

[ModernStyle]

I was gonna bring up that you women should be home rasing babies, but Paul said not to, but since you brought it up ........ Get home and keep them babies out the street.

[Silvertree]

What the neighbors told your mom all the time eh, Modern.

[ModernStyle]

Nah the neighbirs would try to coax me into the street while they sat there reving their engines.

[Dusty]

I'm sure Modern caused his neighbors,parents,teachers great grief while he was growing up.

Modern,"I take the hug to the next level and kinda grind up against potential customers".

Is this how you close so many deals? How do the grandmothers react to this grinding technique?

[Winchester]

Oh boy....

I met a guy today who literally tried to crush my hand. :p

Seriously. He was squeezing very hard for at least half a minute. It was kind of awkward I didn't know how to react. :o

He was actually drunk though. Slurring his speech and his breath reeked of booze. He was talking on and on about random stuff and kept getting in my way the whole time I was trying to measure his rotten deck :p

Anyways, I try and read the woman and see if she is the hand-shaking type. Don't know if I'm good at it or not, but it seems to work out. I seem to be much more popular with the ladies than the men.

[Mike(VA)]

You react by screaming loudly and say something about the carpal tunnel surgery you had last week. When he falls all over himself apologizing, ask him to "sign here". Good old guilt trip works every time its tried. :D

[Sera Gesmundo]

Of course I offer my hand to shake. If I don't want to be treated differently than I need to not act differently. I don't see men giving each other hugs after signing a contract!! LOL I sure am not going to either. I give hugs to my children, family and close friends, not my business partners, clients and subcontractors.

[Eieio]

I can't believe how unaffectionate you guys are.

At the first Remodel Crazy meet up I am gonna hug everyone :D

[Eieio]

Of course I offer my hand to shake. If I don't want to be treated differently than I need to not act differently. I don't see men giving each other hugs after signing a contract!! LOL I sure am not going to either. I give hugs to my children, family and close friends, not my business partners, clients and subcontractors.


Can we kiss the back of a ladies hand upon meeting them?

[Sera Gesmundo]

Yes, if you are going to take me out on a date but inappropriate if in a business setting

[Mike(VA)]

At the first Remodel Crazy meet up I am gonna hug everyone

Not if you're all oiled up and wearing a thong. http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sick/sick0001.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-sad-smileys.php)

[ModernStyle]

Hey Rory if we ever meet I will give you a hug, and no that wont be a roller cover in my pocket. Well maybe one of those little Whiz rollers .........

[Blondie]

I grew up in the Midwest with a bunch of stiff stoic Scandinavian farmers so handshaking is just fine. I think that these kind of customs happen or don't happen partly due to cultural or ethnic diversity or the lack of it...(Scandinavians vs southern hospitality, the particular industry (women in construction aren't maybe common enough yet to be comfortable for everyone). Or ist could be driven by company business practice - the strictly corporate world I happen to work in now, it is NOT PC to touch anyone.

[George Z]

Some of our women painters have been walking around lately
with a finger sticking out. Do you think that is C.F(Caulking Fatigue),
or should I look into it more seriously.

[TulsaRemodeler]

I can't believe how unaffectionate you guys are.

At the first Remodel Crazy meet up I am gonna hug everyone :D
Not me, thats not how I roll. Unless your buying drinks for the night, then maybe a quick hug, but dont get carried away.

[George Z]

Hey Rory if we ever meet I will give you a hug, and no that wont be a roller cover in my pocket. Well maybe one of those little Whiz rollers .........

What Modern really means is:

It so happens I’m tired of being a man.
It so happens I enter clothes shops and theaters,
withered, impenetrable, like a swan made of felt
sailing the water of ashes and origins.

The smell of a hairdresser’s has me crying and wailing.
I only want release from being stone or wool.
I only want not to see gardens and businesses,
merchandise, spectacles, lifts.

It so happens I’m tired of my feet and toenails,
my hair and my shadow.
It so happens I’m tired of being a man.

Still it would be a pleasure
to scare a lawyer with a severed lily...
.................................................. ......
.................................................. ......

Neruda

...still want the Painters here?

[Silvertree]

Painters didn't use to be so, well, Sensative
A sign of the times I guess.

[Workaholic]

I too offer my hand to men or women and show the proper respect to the people i am interacting with. I think some people need to get back in touch with the basics.

[lawndart]

Be careful when dealing with people from other cultures.. Shaking a Muslim womans hand is disrespectful.

[Workaholic]

Be careful when dealing with people from other cultures.. Shaking a Muslim womans hand is disrespectful.

This is true.
Also some people do not like to shake hands period.

[The Perminator]

I offer my hand when meeting someone for the first time or in a business setting I offer my hand to someone I already know. It should be the woman who initiates a hug, not the man. I don't care to have to back away in a business setting to avoid hugging someone--it's awkward and I like even less having to go through with an unwanted hug. Ick! You men huggers, you know who you are and you are not fooling anyone. At best it is an subtly aggressive move, at worst it's a cheap way to cop a feel. Oh, my, I did run on, didn't I? Women out there--what do you think?

[sparkydave]

I offer my hand when meeting someone for the first time or in a business setting I offer my hand to someone I already know. It should be the woman who initiates a hug, not the man. I don't care to have to back away in a business setting to avoid hugging someone--it's awkward and I like even less having to go through with an unwanted hug. Ick! You men huggers, you know who you are and you are not fooling anyone. At best it is an subtly aggressive move, at worst it's a cheap way to cop a feel. Oh, my, I did run on, didn't I? Women out there--what do you think?

You're not being fair, lot's of guys carry a flashlight, c'mon.

[Eieio]

I have to politely disagree. I grew up in the islands were politeness is common place a hug is like a hand shake.

There is nothing touchy feely about it.

It is a sign of respect.

I don't do it anymore because I realize it is offense or awkward to US women.

But for me it is a sign of a friendship or respect.

People have lost sight of human interaction and being PC has taken over decency and human interaction.

[sparkydave]

Actually, our shop has had a lot less problem with staff and customers since we started having a group hug each morning, followed by a zen session. some of guys pair up for the day, and have matching man-purses which can hold many colour co-ordinated hand tools for every occassion. Then at afternoon tea we watch Carol Channing movies.

[The Perminator]

Not there, they don't!
But in an earlier post, someone mentioned that they still open doors for women. Good for you and I will thank you as I walk by! I taught my son to shake hands and make eye contact, wait for the woman to extend her hand for a handshake, and to by God stand up when a woman enters the room!

[Eieio]

Well I guess except for my brother the Men in Atlanta Suck :grin:

[The Perminator]

I have to politely disagree. I grew up in the islands were politeness is common place a hug is like a hand shake.

There is nothing touchy feely about it.

It is a sign of respect.

I don't do it anymore because I realize it is offense or awkward to US women.

But for me it is a sign of a friendship or respect.

People have lost sight of human interaction and being PC has taken over decency and human interaction.

I can respect your culture and respect that you realized that it doesn't always work well in this country. I do hug people but not every time and not because I feel obligated to because I hugged them the last time. If I shove my hand out at you when we meet, take the hint and don't go for the clinch!
What islands are we talking about?

[The Perminator]

Well I guess except for my brother the Men in Atlanta Suck :grin:

Ahh. I like my men in Atlanta! :grin:

[Eieio]

I can respect your culture and respect that you realized that it doesn't always work well in this country. I do hug people but not every time and not because I feel obligated to because I hugged them the last time. If I shove my hand out at you when we meet, take the hint and don't go for the clinch!
What islands are we talking about?

Island = U.S.V.I.

I have found that a lot of american women have never experienced true male friendship and assume that all men have ulterior motives.

If you offer your hand, then it will clearly indicate that is how you which to be greeted and that is fine.

Like I said I understand and comply now. I have been living here for 16 years. Funny enough I first moved to Florida and the culture was almost the same with the people living there. It was an insult not to hug and greet the women/wives

[sparkydave]

I can respect your culture and respect that you realized that it doesn't always work well in this country. I do hug people but not every time and not because I feel obligated to because I hugged them the last time. If I shove my hand out at you when we meet, take the hint and don't go for the clinch!
What islands are we talking about?

And if you hug, and i respond, I feel no obligation to buy you breakfast.

My mom and dad are penticostal, hug EVERYBODY.
My self, I show some restraint. If couples meet, women hug but men don't usually feel comfortable with it.

[FRY1975]

I take the hug to the next level and kinda grind up against potential customers. For the men I usually teach them a gangster type handshake and tell them that is how real men do it.



Do you practice the "grinding move" in front of a mirror, while watching Telemundo, prior to engaging your customer. You know.....in whitey tighties?:laugh3:



Later Modern,
Jeremy

[Silvertree]

Handshakes are good, occasionally I hug a woman who I have known for a while. Sometimes they make the move. I rarely make the first move to hug.

But then I meet guy huggers?

Mostly everything is good and seldom have awkward moments.

[RCP]

A lot of good answers! I think common sense, manners and reading the situation all go "hand in hand".

[KitchenSync]

Eh, I hug people I know (including clients and people I work with), shake hands with the ones I don't, thank the guys who open doors for me, open doors if I get there first. It's all good. :)

[sparkydave]

Always show discretion toward the lady customer, as i get uncomfortable prolonging a hug when the husband is standing their glaring at me. So I cut it short with a kiss on the lips.

[Workaholic]

Always show discretion toward the lady customer, as i get uncomfortable prolonging a hug when the husband is standing their glaring at me. So I cut it short with a kiss on the lips.

See now that's class.

[FRY1975]

Being that I was in the military. I have made it a point, to address both sexes with equal respect. Its easy enough to do and just plain respectful. Love handshakes.


Jeremy

[GoogleGirl]

When my clients are dirty/greasy/sweaty and we're meeting during the day - often they apologize - heck, they are working! As long as they don't mess up my manicure... (I am kidding!)

I am a bit of a huggy person. But I have an Orthodox Jew as a client. I have to remind myself...he's not allowed to touch another woman. He's cool about it but after 2 years, from time to time, I still offer my hand.

[Eieio]

I have read all the replies from the women and I realized that you ladies have never had a real hug.

In the next 3-4 weeks I will be hosting a webinar on hugging a woman and having her feel special and not groped. :grin:

[sparkydave]

When my clients are dirty/greasy/sweaty and we're meeting during the day - often they apologize - heck, they are working! As long as they don't mess up my manicure... (I am kidding!)

I am a bit of a huggy person. But I have an Orthodox Jew as a client. I have to remind myself...he's not allowed to touch another woman. He's cool about it but after 2 years, from time to time, I still offer my hand.

I feel for you, will make the sacrifice and drive down and take the hug in his place. That's what RC forum is like. I'm a bitof a hug-taker, amazing co=incidence.

Glad to see you here and participating. All of the guys around here are decent in spite of some things you might read.

Dave

[sparkydave]

I have read all the replies from the women and I realized that you ladies have never had a real hug.

In the next 3-4 weeks I will be hosting a webinar on hugging a woman and having her feel special and not groped. :grin:

I recommend keeping lights on during this event.