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View Full Version : Teak Job on CraigsList...

Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 11:16 AM
One of my laid off employees sent this to me this morning:



MASTER CARPENTER NEEDED
Date: 2010-06-17, 4:18PM

SCOPE OF WORK - IMMEDIATE START - PLEASE READ THIS THOROUGHLY BEFORE RESPONDING TO THIS POSTING
Master carpenters needed for the installation of Exterior Teak Soffit, Interior Teak Ceiling, and Teak.
Contract shall include installation of 2126sqft of both interior and exterior teak shiplap planks. All planks shall be fastened using provided screws. All screws shall be predrilled and countersunk. The underside of all planks shall have aluminum clips fastened to the underside using the provided screws which shall be predrilled. No nails, fillers, adhesives shall be used in the installation. All screws shall be hidden by the proper placement of the adjacent plank. Tolerances between butt ends of planks shall be zero (0). Tolerances for around windows shall be 1/64 in. Tolerance between teak planks and reglet channels shall be zero (0). Tolerances around all recessed light cutouts, sprinkler cutouts, speaker cutouts, and others shall be 1/8 in. All planks shall be set level, square, and in-line with one another. Approximately 60 sqft of soffit will need to be furred out to align with reglet channel.
Contract shall include installation of 360sqft of teak decking. Frame work for decking is complete however this contract shall include the installation of stairs consisting of two (2) steps that run the length of one side, and shall also be decked with provided teak on both rise and run. Teak decking shall be set using the provided installation system with will enable fasteners to be hidden. Teak decking shall be scribed at one end to meet the contour of the adjacent retaining wall. No nails, fillers, adhesives shall be used in the installation. Tolerances between butt ends of planks shall be zero (0). All planks shall be set level, square, and in-line with one another.
THE JOB MUST BE COMPLETED WITHIN 3 WEEKS OR LESS
SUBCONTRACTOR SHALL PROVIDE PROOF OF WORKMAN'S COMP & LIABILITY INSURANCE
AT LEAST EIGHT(8) PRIOR VERIFIABLE REFERENCES REQUIRED IN THE SAME LINE OF WORK. VERIFIABLE REFERENCES MUST INCLUDE:
* THE REFERENCES NAME
* ADDRESSES
* PHONE NUMBER
* DATE THE WORK WAS COMPLETED and
* SCOPE OF WORK COMPLETED
**SATISFACTORY COMPLETION OF THIS CONTRACT WILL LEAD TO ONGOING CONTRACTS
EMAIL THE FOLLOWING TO: teakjob@yahoo.com
-YOUR VERIFIABLE REFERENCE
-A COPY OF YOUR CONTRACTOR'S LICENSE
-A COPY OF YOUR WORKMAN'S COMP CERTIFICATE
-A COPY OF YOUR LIABILITY INSURANCE CERTIFICATE
-THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THAT WILL BE WORKING IN YOUR CREW AND THEIR LEVEL OF EXPERIENCE.
-YOUR CONTACT PHONE NUMBER & EMAIL ADDRESS
ALL OF THE ABOVE WILL BE VERIFIED BEFORE A CONTRACT WILL BE SIGNED
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT WASTE OUR TIME AND YOUR OWN IF YOU CANNOT PROVIDE THE ABOVE. THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE.

* Location: Mulholland & 405 Freeway
* Compensation: $8500 CASH
* This is a contract job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
Leo G
June 20th, 2010, 11:58 AM
Tolerances between butt ends of planks shall be zero (0).

The do realize this is wood, don't they?
ChrWright
June 20th, 2010, 12:08 PM
Reads like one fat, fiery red flag.

"How about his... we'll go out back and I'll give you half the money I would have lost on your job, then you kick me in the nuts and we'll call it even."

:rolleyes3:
neolitic
June 20th, 2010, 12:10 PM
What will be even funnier
are the replies!
Eieio
June 20th, 2010, 12:13 PM
$4.00 a S.F.? Wow generous :rolleyes3:
Silvertree
June 20th, 2010, 12:17 PM
California has all the good jobs:smash:
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 12:31 PM
Reads like one fat, fiery red flag.

"How about his... we'll go out back and I'll give you half the money I would have lost on your job, then you kick me in the nuts and we'll call it even."

:rolleyes3:

What will be even funnier
are the replies!


Well, I just replied with exactly what Chris said, so there's one funny reply for them. :laugh3:

What WON'T be funny for the guy who is advertising this work is when he has to settle for the inevitable unlicensed desperate dude who shows up and swears he can do the job on the cheap.
JumboJack
June 20th, 2010, 05:12 PM
What WON'T be funny for the guy who is advertising this work is when he has to settle for the inevitable unlicensed desperate dude who shows up and swears he can do the job on the cheap.

They will both get what they deserve....
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 05:39 PM
They will both get what they deserve....


No doubt.

Is it me, or does anyone else think this ad was placed by a designer or archy, or otherwise someone who is running a job and has just enough knowledge to royally eff things up for the homeowner.
Leo G
June 20th, 2010, 05:42 PM
And they are offering CASH.
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 05:48 PM
And they are offering CASH.


Yeah. Cash.
Unfortunately, this is something I'm seeing a lot of out here right now. People are under the impression that tradesmen are desperate and it's such a buyer's market that they can name their own price on specific work.

Guys are telling me that they've bid jobs to the bare bones, and still been beat by 40%. Sometimes by licensed contractors. I have also heard people express opinions that they think legit guys are charging more per project because their work volume is so low. Also, seems to be a myth out there that due to the downturn, materials are much cheaper now.

We're getting bent over in every direction.
Leo G
June 20th, 2010, 05:51 PM
If I am working for cash there isn't going to be any contract.
Bender
June 20th, 2010, 06:22 PM
If I am working for cash there isn't going to be any contract.

Not that I would :lipsrsealed:
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 06:30 PM
Forget to give them a receipt and then put a lien on the property.

JUST kidding.
Silvertree
June 20th, 2010, 07:09 PM
This job offer sounds like its coming from someone who feels they are being generous, so they can now ask for siding to be cut to a 64th inch.
Not only are they idiots, they feel they are being fair and liberal for all that money they are giving the guys who do the job.

My tape only goes to 1/16" so I can't do the work.

1/64" tolerance for siding,:laugh3::laugh3:
framer55
June 20th, 2010, 08:06 PM
I have done a lot of siding in my day and I am having a hard time understanding how they determine 1/64.

My tape and any I have seen don't go that small. So that means it will be a judgment and of course then you have to depend on the goodwill of the homeowner.

Lord help you if the material is wet and it dries.
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 08:24 PM
My curiosity is piqued. I would love to experience the personality behind this ad.
64th in. tolerance around the windows? :laugh3:

And the deck is already framed. Sounds like whoever did that took a pass on the rest of this.
mmike032
June 20th, 2010, 09:34 PM
last yr I had a customers son-in-law ( an engineer) call me on a Friday afternoon to tell me a cabinet I had to shim to make level for the countertop crew was .005 out of level:surrender:

I thought it was a joke at first but he was serious:laugh3:
Leo G
June 20th, 2010, 09:54 PM
How did he determine that it was out of level by that little.
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 09:56 PM
How did he determine that it was out of level by that little.


Digital level comes to mind. Got to be about the only way.
mmike032
June 20th, 2010, 09:57 PM
I dont remember what he used but I remember the customer saying he got some "special tool" out of his car.

I posted about it at the other site, I'd have to go back and find the post to see if I mentioned what he used.

all I could think of is a long level and calipers, IDK...
i dont measure to the thousanths
Leo G
June 20th, 2010, 10:06 PM
I think the term "Bite Me" would have come to mind. .005" over 1/8" might be of concern.

Standard level is bubble within the line equally. Close enough, its not an engineering project for NASA. It is a countertop.
Blue
June 20th, 2010, 10:13 PM
last yr I had a customers son-in-law ( an engineer) call me on a Friday afternoon to tell me a cabinet I had to shim to make level for the countertop crew was .005 out of level:surrender:

I thought it was a joke at first but he was serious:laugh3:

That was prolly the best one of the group! You would have to have Leo's laser to get all four corners of every box closer than that.
Bodger
June 20th, 2010, 10:13 PM
And hell, you could be under that .005 tolerance anyway and when the damn countertops go on, they could be out by that much. I don't think liquids will even roll in the direction of a low side that is .005 out of level.

What a stunatz.
framer55
June 21st, 2010, 08:34 AM
My curiosity is piqued. I would love to experience the personality behind this ad.
64th in. tolerance around the windows? :laugh3:

And the deck is already framed. Sounds like whoever did that took a pass on the rest of this.

So when are you calling him??:)
neolitic
June 21st, 2010, 10:45 AM
No doubt.

Is it me, or does anyone else think this ad was placed by a designer or archy, or otherwise someone who is running a job and has just enough knowledge to royally eff things up for the homeowner.

Third choice:
It is the HO, and he's an engineer.
Bodger
June 21st, 2010, 10:45 AM
So when are you calling him??:)


I sounds like he wants all of the pre-requisite insurance and references sent to him via e-mail before he'll even set an appointment.

Maybe I'll send him an e-mail saying I'm interested and see if he'll call me. The location of the job is bit too far away to actually bother to go to.
A phone call might be good for laughs.