Mike(VA)
August 18th, 2009, 09:46 AM
You may have seen this somewhere but it always is good for a smile.
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
o If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla
and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for
$32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
o A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap, shampoo and a towel...
o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
o A woman has the last word in any argument.
o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
o A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone,
read a book, and get the mail.
o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
o If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla
and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for
$32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
o A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap, shampoo and a towel...
o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
o A woman has the last word in any argument.
o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
o A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone,
read a book, and get the mail.
o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.