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The science of remodeling.

Submitted by on July 25, 2009 – 9:49 am2 Comments

plumbers-crack

Is there a science to remodeling?

Scientists have long wondered about the relationship between remodeling professionals and the arcane and secret ways they perform their tasks, also being studied is their archaic mode of communication. Regional dialects have come under suspicion and some historians believe the Tower of Babel story may indeed have a basis in fact.

A modern day example exists as in how a column in New Jersey becomes a cayoom in the Florida Panhandle, much to the distress of the Project Manager who can’t figure out why the University of Minnesota graduate working on his high rise is standing in place after being asked to “hep me sep dem cayooms”, or help me set them columns. It gets worse when the site foreman from Alabama takes a job overseeing workers on a Cape Cod hotel project and is told to “pack yah kaah”, or park your car in the side lot. As you can imagine this led to some misunderstandings from time to time. But maybe no worse than my experience with being a mason tender for recently arrived French Canadian tuck pointers who used the word mudder and Mudder often times in the same sentence but both words having a different meaning as in mudder being what I did, that is supplied mortar and Mudder as in “get more mud you stupid Mudder” (expletive deleted).

Science being quick to offer speculative theories has had no success explaining the relationship, if any, between The Plumbers Crack and the Mariana Trench. Both sizable fissures that have defied explorers for the last century. The Mariana Trench has recently been photographed and been found to contain undiscovered species of deep water fish, the Plumbers Crack however has not been proven to support life and further study is hampered by a lack of volunteers. Studies of the Plumbers Crack will continue when technology catches up to the demands of science and an unmanned vehicle can be employed in further explorations.

Part 1.

Check back next week for Part 2

Paul Lesieur/ Silvertree Construction

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